monchouchoumillie:

me in the morning. all the time.

monchouchoumillie:

me in the morning. all the time.

Anonymous
asks:
Hello! My girlfriend recently told me she wants to be spanked as a part of our relationschip, DD. I found a lot of sites but none of them where really specific. Now she has been pretty lazy with her schoolwork, so I told her she would recieve a spanking. The problem is, I have never spanked or been spanked, so I'm not sure how this is supposed to go down. Should I make her wait in the coner or not? Should I spank her over my knee or bend over the bed? Do you have any tips please?

daddyinyourass:

spankingnl:

Warning, long answer!

First of all, you are to be congratulated for going along with her request. I wish more people were willing to try things out without judging someone for a preference they have. My hat’s off to you, good Sir.

Your first punishment spanking can be quite a challenge. You’ve made the first move by announcing she is going to be spanked. She’s going to expect (and hope) you to follow through and to take charge of things. This can be tricky for novice spankers. The answer to this problem is in preparation. You need to plan the scene out in your mind in advance. Choose a time but keep in mind her disposition as well. If she comes home tired and grumpy, it’s probably not the best time. It might help to heighten her anticipation if you inform her in the morning. Say something like: “Make sure you’re home on time this evening. You’ve got a spanking coming.” Refuse to answer any further questions about what’s going to happen, if it will hurt, etc. If she is really concerned that changes matters, of course. Her safety and comfort are paramount.

Don’t be waiting by the door either when she comes home. Act normal, as if nothing is the matter. This will blow her anticipation through the roof. That’s a good thing. Nervous excitement and a few jitters are to be expected. At a certain time, send her to the bedroom (or somewhere else) to wait for your arrival. This gives you (and her) the time to slip into your role. Because what you’ll be doing is in essence a role playing game.

When it comes to the actual spanking, remember the three C’s: Confront, Chastise and Comfort.

  • Confront
    Also known as scolding. This part can be rehearsed in your mind before it happens and it may be worth doing that. Remember a few key phrases you want to say. You want to confront her with her behaviour and why it is bad or not what you expect of her. Say things like “Education is too important to not take it seriously” or “We’re paying a lot of money for this and by not doing your best, you’re just wasting it”. Make it clear that you find this behaviour unacceptable. It won’t hurt to finish the scolding with “And that’s why you deserve to be punished, isn’t it?”. You’ll probably find her agreeing.
    Do’s and don’ts for this stage:
    - Do be specific about what you don’t like and why.
    - Do allow her to say her piece.
    - Do try to get her to admit she needs to be punished.
    - Don’t yell, scream, shout or lose your temper. Shouting is a sign of impotence, not of strength and people tend not to listen to someone shouting at them.
    - Don’t swear and curse. Another sign of impotence.
    - Don’t become abusive with your language. She’s not a stupid cow, she’s not dumb, etc. She’s the woman you love and deserves your respect, always.
  • Chastise
    Le moment suprême! When you’ve said your piece and she has nothing further to add, it’s time for the punishment to begin. You’re on a roll now so don’t keep her waiting. Don’t lose the moment. Sit on the edge of the bed on a chair or somewhere where you have room to accommodate her over your lap and have room to swing your arm. In a firm manner, point to your lap and tell her to get over your knee. She’ll probably comply at this point. If not, a little tug on her arm will most likely work. Don’t use force! It’s important that she cooperates with the punishment process to show her compliance and acceptance.
    When you have her over your knee, remember that it is important to build up the spanking. A good spanking is done in stages (there are always exceptions to this, but for now, stick to the basics). Don’t go ape and start playing the bongos. Remember that you are dealing with the delicate behind of the woman you love and you get to turn it all red and tender. It’s okay to make the first few spanks hard (not full force) to make an impression, but then reduce force. Using your hand, spank all over her bottom though keep away from the top 20% of her cheeks. Not so much padding there. Concentrate on the lower half of her cheeks and on the sit spots, where buttock and thigh meet. That will make her remember the spanking when she sits down.
    It won’t take long before you start feeling a good deal of warmth through her clothing. Pull down her pants or have her pull them down. Insert a comment about how nice and pink her cheeks are becoming. Continue the spanking for a while. Don’t be too impressed by any sounds of “ouch” at this point. She shouldn’t be in any real discomfort yet. If she is, you may be hitting too hard.
    Next, time to bare her bottom. Always a lovely moment in any spanking. Take some time to admire the redness (and inspect for signs of bruising). Time to take the spanking up a notch. Hit a bit harder, increase your force gradually. It’s time to hammer the lesson home. She’ll probably begin to show signs of actual discomfort but that is to be expected. When you are satisfied she’s had enough, don’t stop. Apply one final, intense volley and then stop. You may verify if she’s had enough by asking if she has learned her lesson. Anything other than a sincere sounding ‘yes’, probably means no.
    Do’s and don’ts for this stage:
    - Do vary your spanking! You’re not a machine so don’t spank like one. Nothing is more boring than the same rhythm the whole time. Suddenly increase speed. Suddenly increase force. Suddenly concentrate a volley on one cheek and then the other. Keep her on her toes.
    - Do check for any signs of discomfort that shouldn’t be there. Use your eyes but also your ears and your sense of touch. It’s better to stop the scene too early than to late. Safety before anything else.
    - Do enjoy yourself (but play it serious). You have the enormous privilege of spanking her, of having her trust. You’ve also got her bottom literally at your fingertips. Count yourself lucky indeed!
    - Don’t hit hard from the start. Build it up. Learn what she can take.
    - Don’t play for tears. There may be tears but don’t make them a goal.
    - Don’t be afraid to end the scene or interrupt the scene if you feel you must check up on her. A simple pause with a soft “are you okay?” is a good thing.
  • Comfort
    Very, very important to do this. You’ve taken the time to build the scene up, now it is time to slowly tear the scene down again. While you may give her corner time for a first time session, it’s probably better if you don’t. Just let her get up, hold her at arm’s length and look into her eyes. Ask if she’s okay. Kiss her, hold her, do what comes naturally. Apply a soothing lotion to her bottom. Most importantly though, talk! You’re no longer in the session so ask her if this is what she meant, ask her if she is okay. Listen to her answers and take mental notes of what she says but also of what she doesn’t say.
    Do’s and don’ts for this stage:
    - Do talk, talk, talk. Share what you liked and didn’t like. Be there for her. She may need a hug, maybe more.
    - Do take your time for this. She may need it. You may need it.
    - Don’t stay in character. It’s important to return to normal.
    - Don’t be afraid to laugh about things that happened. Laughing is a great sign that things went well and are back to normal again.

Communication is key. Not just verbal but also non verbal. Her body language may tell you a lot about how she’s feeling. Pay attention to her throughout. Have a safeword. I hope it is never used but have it nonetheless. And finally, remember to have fun on this journey together!

Hope this helps!

A MUST READ FOR NOVICES!!

[source]

If someone were to die at the age of 63 after a lifelong battle with MS or Sickle Cell, we’d all say they were a “fighter” or an “inspiration.” But when someone dies after a lifelong battle with severe mental illness and drug addiction, we say it was a tragedy and tell everyone “don’t be like him, please seek help.” That’s bullshit. Robin Williams sought help his entire life. He saw a psychiatrist. He quit drinking. He went to rehab. He did this for decades. That’s HOW he made it to 63. For some people, 63 is a fucking miracle. I know several people who didn’t make it past 23 and I’d do anything to have 40 more years with them.

anonymous reader on The Dish

One of the more helpful and insightful things I’ve seen about depression/suicide in the last couple of days.

(via mysweetetc)

theawkwardlifeofapsycho:

Why is this not taught universally.

bogleech:

raw-fed-pets:

faofox:

raw-fed-pets:

All dogs share the same basic digestive system despite the range of physical variations (and attitudes) across different breeds. Every dog is designed to eat a raw animal-based diet, from the Chihuahua to the Great Dane. Breed-specific dog food brands are simply a marketing gimmick aimed at playing on the pet owner’s emotions, and their desire to feed their pet the best possible diet.

I don’t think that dogs need an animal-based diet. If done right they can be vegan and not contribute to the murdering of innocent animals. We’ve adapted and domesticated them enough to do so. They’ve evolved to live without meat just like us.

200% incorrect. Vegan diets are carbohydrate-based. Carbohydrates are inflammatory, feed cancer (glucose), contribute to periodontal disease (leading to systemic organ failure, eg heart), cause insulin spikes leading to a multitude of other issues in the long-term (thyroid, liver, diabetes, heart disease) and also cause pancreatic problems due to extreme stress on the pancreas (secreting heavy loads of carb enzymes over a long period of time). The low moisture content coupled with high plant protein may also cause renal failure in the long term. The preservatives used may also be linked to cancer (BHA, BHT etc), and these diets also skew the omega3/6 ratio, causing further inflammation (linked to cancer again). They cause urine alkalinity leading to urinary problems such as crystals, blockages and UTI’s.
Brief into to dog anatomy/physiology:
- Stomach PH: Their highly acidic stomach is designed for eliminating harmful bacteria and breaking down bone into a gel-like substance. Humans have a much more alkaline stomach acid which is why we would struggle to digest raw bone.
-Digestive Enzymes: Higher level of proteases to break down animal protein. High bile load to help push through bacteria.
-Dental Anatomy: Sharp pointed teeth designed for ripping and tearing flesh and bones.Dogs do not chew their food as we do, they are wired to swallow chunks quickly as a basic survival instinct.
-Jaws: Dogs also have strong jaws that physically cannot move sideways (like your own can). This sideways grinding action is a feature that allows pre-digestion of plant material. Again, dogs rip off chunks and swallow them whole.
-Lack of Salivary Amylase: Omnivores have this for pre-digestion of carbohydrates. Dogs and cats do not. The canine pancreas secretes amylase as a backup, however this does not mean they should be fed a high carbohydrate diet every day for a lifetime. Processed food (incl vegan) is 40-70% carbohydrate.
-Lysozyme: Instead of amylase, dogs have lysozyme in their saliva which is an antibacterial. This may be useful for destroying any harmful bacteria in carrion/rotten food/feces, as well as wound cleaning.
-Gut length: The canine gut is short in length which is because flesh must be pushed through quickly. It does not need to sit and ferment, as this could allow bacteria to multiply to harmful levels. Note that plant eating animals have a long digestive tract and even multiple stomach chambers in order for plant material to be slowly broken down by the necessary enzymes.
-Nutrient profiles. Dogs have 0% biological requirement for carbohydrates. They gain every single essential nutrient from a prey based diet such as Whole Prey/Prey Model. Vegan diets are full of processed lab-made vitamins and minerals. Many vitamin pre-mixes are made in china and shipped to the country of manufacture.
All in all, dogs will survive on a high carbohydrate diet but it will cause systemic effects eventually. Similar to smoking, a junk food diet affects every dog differently and some may be affected more severely than others, and in different time spans. You can also expect high vet fees in the form of dental cleanings, dental surgeries and various health problem later on in life.
It is not recommended that you feed your pet the equivalent of a big mac for the entirety of its life. This is essentially what kibble and vegan diets are. Evolution has changed the appearance and even the behaviour of your dog, but their digestive system is still geared towards meat. Basically, you are paying money to have a company slowly kill your pet from the inside out. 
0/10, Not Recommended.

Hard science here for anyone who needs to shut down a “vegan pet owner.” It’s abuse. Feed your animal the substances they evolved to eat or do not own an animal, it’s as simple as that.

bogleech:

raw-fed-pets:

faofox:

raw-fed-pets:

All dogs share the same basic digestive system despite the range of physical variations (and attitudes) across different breeds. Every dog is designed to eat a raw animal-based diet, from the Chihuahua to the Great Dane. Breed-specific dog food brands are simply a marketing gimmick aimed at playing on the pet owner’s emotions, and their desire to feed their pet the best possible diet.

I don’t think that dogs need an animal-based diet. If done right they can be vegan and not contribute to the murdering of innocent animals. We’ve adapted and domesticated them enough to do so. They’ve evolved to live without meat just like us.

200% incorrect. Vegan diets are carbohydrate-based. Carbohydrates are inflammatory, feed cancer (glucose), contribute to periodontal disease (leading to systemic organ failure, eg heart), cause insulin spikes leading to a multitude of other issues in the long-term (thyroid, liver, diabetes, heart disease) and also cause pancreatic problems due to extreme stress on the pancreas (secreting heavy loads of carb enzymes over a long period of time). The low moisture content coupled with high plant protein may also cause renal failure in the long term. The preservatives used may also be linked to cancer (BHA, BHT etc), and these diets also skew the omega3/6 ratio, causing further inflammation (linked to cancer again). They cause urine alkalinity leading to urinary problems such as crystals, blockages and UTI’s.

Brief into to dog anatomy/physiology:

- Stomach PH: Their highly acidic stomach is designed for eliminating harmful bacteria and breaking down bone into a gel-like substance. Humans have a much more alkaline stomach acid which is why we would struggle to digest raw bone.

-Digestive Enzymes: Higher level of proteases to break down animal protein. High bile load to help push through bacteria.

-Dental Anatomy: Sharp pointed teeth designed for ripping and tearing flesh and bones.Dogs do not chew their food as we do, they are wired to swallow chunks quickly as a basic survival instinct.

-Jaws: Dogs also have strong jaws that physically cannot move sideways (like your own can). This sideways grinding action is a feature that allows pre-digestion of plant material. Again, dogs rip off chunks and swallow them whole.

-Lack of Salivary Amylase: Omnivores have this for pre-digestion of carbohydrates. Dogs and cats do not. The canine pancreas secretes amylase as a backup, however this does not mean they should be fed a high carbohydrate diet every day for a lifetime. Processed food (incl vegan) is 40-70% carbohydrate.

-Lysozyme: Instead of amylase, dogs have lysozyme in their saliva which is an antibacterial. This may be useful for destroying any harmful bacteria in carrion/rotten food/feces, as well as wound cleaning.

-Gut length: The canine gut is short in length which is because flesh must be pushed through quickly. It does not need to sit and ferment, as this could allow bacteria to multiply to harmful levels. Note that plant eating animals have a long digestive tract and even multiple stomach chambers in order for plant material to be slowly broken down by the necessary enzymes.

-Nutrient profiles. Dogs have 0% biological requirement for carbohydrates. They gain every single essential nutrient from a prey based diet such as Whole Prey/Prey Model. Vegan diets are full of processed lab-made vitamins and minerals. Many vitamin pre-mixes are made in china and shipped to the country of manufacture.

All in all, dogs will survive on a high carbohydrate diet but it will cause systemic effects eventually. Similar to smoking, a junk food diet affects every dog differently and some may be affected more severely than others, and in different time spans. You can also expect high vet fees in the form of dental cleanings, dental surgeries and various health problem later on in life.

It is not recommended that you feed your pet the equivalent of a big mac for the entirety of its life. This is essentially what kibble and vegan diets are. Evolution has changed the appearance and even the behaviour of your dog, but their digestive system is still geared towards meat. Basically, you are paying money to have a company slowly kill your pet from the inside out.

0/10, Not Recommended.

Hard science here for anyone who needs to shut down a “vegan pet owner.” It’s abuse. Feed your animal the substances they evolved to eat or do not own an animal, it’s as simple as that.

eros-dikaios:

kanirou:

fatfeistyandfashionable:

bathsabbath:

piscula:

skooth:

bhavatarini:

myblacksexuality:

poetofwar333:

#cleopatra with the nose knocked off. I wonder if people still think she was European like the movies betray…

I still think it’s one of the most desperate things whites have done to blacks and to black history. The disrespect is outrageous. They came to our country and mentally could not fathom how these black civilizations could be so great. They literally rode through our lands and shot the noses off of our statues. Why? So that the statues would no longer resemble the African people and they could LIE about the origins of Egypt and countless other civilizations. It was a widespread practice. It’s why statues of Pharaoh’s and their wives have no noses. It’s why the Sphinx has no nose. When I was in middle and high school, we were taught that the noses had fell off due to time and poor craftsmanship! They have literally tried to teach us that our ancestors were shitty builders of noses just to hide their malicious destruction of our heritage. European fears of African peoples had to come from somewhere. I want to know what part of the history is missing. There’s something that they don’t want to be told.

The shade is real

i was taught that the noses fell off as well and actually continued to believe this. in retrospect this makes no sense, considering greek/roman statues pretty much always have intact noses whereas egyptian ones are always conveniently missing theirs. thank you for pointing this out to me, i hadn’t even made that connection until now.

The bolded was me too and I am seriously embarrassed that I never even thought about how that could be false.

Damnnn. I hate myself for not realizing this.
    I hate myself even more, since I know the ancient Egyptians created their sculptural works with the idea of permanence in mind. They were literally built to last throughout the afterlife. Notice how the majority of their monumental sculpture is stone-bound, without any protruding elements or breakable appendages. That’s because many of these sculptures were intended to house the life-force (Ka) of those they portrayed. Of their favorite materials were basalt and diorite, both extremely hard stones that were incredibly difficult to carve. Meaning a nose just doesn’t “fall off” because of “poor craftsmanship,” you would literally have to take a hammer to it. Fuckers.

I’m embarrassed and ashamed to add myself to the list of people who where taught that the noses “fell off” as a child and never once stopped to think about how incongruous that was to everything I had been taught about the Egyptian civilizations and their propensity for lasting works of art.

This is so inaccurate. 
Noses are always the first thing to go on statues, they protrude from the rest of the sculpture and are unsupported. This is true of Greek and Roman statues as well. This is Sulla, Roman general, consul, dictator, reformer, and kind of important. This is also the best bust we have of him and the one you will find in just about any textbook. 

Also, can we pause to think about environment here? The Mediterranean is much more long-lasting-statue friendly than Egypt is. Differences in humidity, wind patterns, building materials, and especially sand storms have immense effect on how well statues and carvings are preserved. 
More importantly, statue defamation was a practice that goes far back into Egyptian history itself. As previously (and accurately) mentioned, many statues were believed to either contain, preserve, or safeguard a deceased’s spirit after death. Burial statues would be deliberately defaced as acts of revenge, intimidation, or political leverage in times of upheaval. Political rival wants to hit you where it hurts? Deface your family’s statues. New dynasty in charge? Deface every statue of the old blood so their spirits can never hurt you. 
An unfortunately perfect example involves Hatshepsut, Queen and Pharaoh of Egypt who was immensely successful and powerful. Upon the succession of Thutmose III, he eventually ordered that all public images of her be defaced, some merely having the facial features knocked off, or sometimes full-out erasure:
(“la la la, nothing to see here!” like damn)
This practice was continued by invading conquerers, particularly Muslims (as they simply had far greater and longer lasting control than anyone else) but also Christians if they were in the area. Defacing local rulers is pretty common practice by conquerers anywhere you go in the world, but the spiritual/emotional/mental affect it had on Egyptians would not have gone unnoticed, so it was a good tool to undermine popular morale. 
The legend of Napoleon’s forces shooting off the nose is pure fiction, easily debunked by multiple scholars’ accounts and artists’ renditions of the Sphinx from before Napoleon was even born showing the Sphinx without a nose. The Sphinx’s nose was deliberately removed, but evidence strongly supports this being a religiously motivated act, not racial. Muslim officials deliberately defaced the Sphinx (made extremely clear by the large chisel marks left on the Sphinx’s face) because they repeatedly found local Egyptians worshipping or making homage to it. This was of course unacceptable to their new rulers, so they destroyed the statue and therefore whatever life force the Egyptians believed was within it. 
By the time we fast forward far enough in time to get to white European imperialists, noses have been getting knocked off Egyptian statues for hundreds and thousands of years. Did these Europeans deface more statues? I’m sure some did, but probably cause they were racist dicks, not out of any great international organized scheme at historical revision (please, you really think they were thinking that far ahead? all they cared about was money at this point). Europeans crafted cultural perceptions of racial superiority by denying the existence of Black Kingdoms, not by writing home “yeah these African kingdoms are totally rad and totally white.” Their approach was definitely more “African kingdoms? What African kingdoms?” But this all deals more with subSaharan peoples, not Egyptians.
At the end of the day, Egyptian archaeology ends up with lots of noseless statues, brought about by a number of factors:
1. some fell to environment and deterioration (as do all statues in the world)2. some fell to political violence and social upheaval3. some fell to religious foreign conquerers4. and finally some fell to European invaders
But to claim that all statues were defaced at the same time by the same people for the same reasons is just grossly inaccurate and is deliberate misrepresentation of the facts to create hyperbole. Egypt has a long and vibrant and at times tragic (and at others inspiring!) history, with plenty of truth to inspire lots of debate and discussion, so please, don’t dilute all this with falsehoods. 
PS - I swear I thought we’d gotten past this by now, but Cleopatra was a Macedonian Greek, and was heir to a long line of Macedonian Greeks. The Ptolemaic Dynasty was established after Alexander the Great conquered Egypt and established one of his generals as ruler. They adopted some Egyptian customs (mainly sibling marriage of the ruling family), but were always staunchly Greek. Cleopatra is indeed interesting though, because while her predecessors as a practice didn’t even speak Egyptian, Cleopatra learned and frequently spoke Egyptian, and very closely associated herself with the goddess Isis. But cultural blending aside, she was Greek, and her successor Caesarion was half Roman ala Julius Caesar.

Hey above blogger, I love you for schooling these dumb-dumbs on history and archaeology. And yes, for the last frickin’ time, Cleopatra was a descendent of Ptolemy, one of Alexander’s generals, and thus a Macedonian.
EESH. 
And FWIW 19th century Europeans acted horrendously destructive against much of Greece and Rome’s own treasures (Lord Elgin, anybody) because archaeology was only a beginning science and also because many of the items they came across did not fit their pre-conceived notions of classical antiquity.

eros-dikaios:

kanirou:

fatfeistyandfashionable:

bathsabbath:

piscula:

skooth:

bhavatarini:

myblacksexuality:

poetofwar333:

#cleopatra with the nose knocked off. I wonder if people still think she was European like the movies betray…

I still think it’s one of the most desperate things whites have done to blacks and to black history. The disrespect is outrageous. They came to our country and mentally could not fathom how these black civilizations could be so great. They literally rode through our lands and shot the noses off of our statues. Why? So that the statues would no longer resemble the African people and they could LIE about the origins of Egypt and countless other civilizations. It was a widespread practice. It’s why statues of Pharaoh’s and their wives have no noses. It’s why the Sphinx has no nose. When I was in middle and high school, we were taught that the noses had fell off due to time and poor craftsmanship! They have literally tried to teach us that our ancestors were shitty builders of noses just to hide their malicious destruction of our heritage. European fears of African peoples had to come from somewhere. I want to know what part of the history is missing. There’s something that they don’t want to be told.

The shade is real

i was taught that the noses fell off as well and actually continued to believe this. in retrospect this makes no sense, considering greek/roman statues pretty much always have intact noses whereas egyptian ones are always conveniently missing theirs. thank you for pointing this out to me, i hadn’t even made that connection until now.

The bolded was me too and I am seriously embarrassed that I never even thought about how that could be false.

Damnnn. I hate myself for not realizing this.

    I hate myself even more, since I know the ancient Egyptians created their sculptural works with the idea of permanence in mind. They were literally built to last throughout the afterlife. Notice how the majority of their monumental sculpture is stone-bound, without any protruding elements or breakable appendages. That’s because many of these sculptures were intended to house the life-force (Ka) of those they portrayed. Of their favorite materials were basalt and diorite, both extremely hard stones that were incredibly difficult to carve. Meaning a nose just doesn’t “fall off” because of “poor craftsmanship,” you would literally have to take a hammer to it. Fuckers.

I’m embarrassed and ashamed to add myself to the list of people who where taught that the noses “fell off” as a child and never once stopped to think about how incongruous that was to everything I had been taught about the Egyptian civilizations and their propensity for lasting works of art.

This is so inaccurate. 

Noses are always the first thing to go on statues, they protrude from the rest of the sculpture and are unsupported. This is true of Greek and Roman statues as well. This is Sulla, Roman general, consul, dictator, reformer, and kind of important. This is also the best bust we have of him and the one you will find in just about any textbook. 

Also, can we pause to think about environment here? The Mediterranean is much more long-lasting-statue friendly than Egypt is. Differences in humidity, wind patterns, building materials, and especially sand storms have immense effect on how well statues and carvings are preserved. 

More importantly, statue defamation was a practice that goes far back into Egyptian history itself. As previously (and accurately) mentioned, many statues were believed to either contain, preserve, or safeguard a deceased’s spirit after death. Burial statues would be deliberately defaced as acts of revenge, intimidation, or political leverage in times of upheaval. Political rival wants to hit you where it hurts? Deface your family’s statues. New dynasty in charge? Deface every statue of the old blood so their spirits can never hurt you. 

An unfortunately perfect example involves Hatshepsut, Queen and Pharaoh of Egypt who was immensely successful and powerful. Upon the succession of Thutmose III, he eventually ordered that all public images of her be defaced, some merely having the facial features knocked off, or sometimes full-out erasure:


(“la la la, nothing to see here!” like damn)

This practice was continued by invading conquerers, particularly Muslims (as they simply had far greater and longer lasting control than anyone else) but also Christians if they were in the area. Defacing local rulers is pretty common practice by conquerers anywhere you go in the world, but the spiritual/emotional/mental affect it had on Egyptians would not have gone unnoticed, so it was a good tool to undermine popular morale. 

The legend of Napoleon’s forces shooting off the nose is pure fiction, easily debunked by multiple scholars’ accounts and artists’ renditions of the Sphinx from before Napoleon was even born showing the Sphinx without a nose. The Sphinx’s nose was deliberately removed, but evidence strongly supports this being a religiously motivated act, not racial. Muslim officials deliberately defaced the Sphinx (made extremely clear by the large chisel marks left on the Sphinx’s face) because they repeatedly found local Egyptians worshipping or making homage to it. This was of course unacceptable to their new rulers, so they destroyed the statue and therefore whatever life force the Egyptians believed was within it. 

By the time we fast forward far enough in time to get to white European imperialists, noses have been getting knocked off Egyptian statues for hundreds and thousands of years. Did these Europeans deface more statues? I’m sure some did, but probably cause they were racist dicks, not out of any great international organized scheme at historical revision (please, you really think they were thinking that far ahead? all they cared about was money at this point). Europeans crafted cultural perceptions of racial superiority by denying the existence of Black Kingdoms, not by writing home “yeah these African kingdoms are totally rad and totally white.” Their approach was definitely more “African kingdoms? What African kingdoms?” But this all deals more with subSaharan peoples, not Egyptians.

At the end of the day, Egyptian archaeology ends up with lots of noseless statues, brought about by a number of factors:

1. some fell to environment and deterioration (as do all statues in the world)
2. some fell to political violence and social upheaval
3. some fell to religious foreign conquerers
4. and finally some fell to European invaders

But to claim that all statues were defaced at the same time by the same people for the same reasons is just grossly inaccurate and is deliberate misrepresentation of the facts to create hyperbole. Egypt has a long and vibrant and at times tragic (and at others inspiring!) history, with plenty of truth to inspire lots of debate and discussion, so please, don’t dilute all this with falsehoods. 

PS - I swear I thought we’d gotten past this by now, but Cleopatra was a Macedonian Greek, and was heir to a long line of Macedonian Greeks. The Ptolemaic Dynasty was established after Alexander the Great conquered Egypt and established one of his generals as ruler. They adopted some Egyptian customs (mainly sibling marriage of the ruling family), but were always staunchly Greek. Cleopatra is indeed interesting though, because while her predecessors as a practice didn’t even speak Egyptian, Cleopatra learned and frequently spoke Egyptian, and very closely associated herself with the goddess Isis. But cultural blending aside, she was Greek, and her successor Caesarion was half Roman ala Julius Caesar.

Hey above blogger, I love you for schooling these dumb-dumbs on history and archaeology. And yes, for the last frickin’ time, Cleopatra was a descendent of Ptolemy, one of Alexander’s generals, and thus a Macedonian.

EESH. 

And FWIW 19th century Europeans acted horrendously destructive against much of Greece and Rome’s own treasures (Lord Elgin, anybody) because archaeology was only a beginning science and also because many of the items they came across did not fit their pre-conceived notions of classical antiquity.

tacobelligerent:

tacobelligerent:

I STEPPED ON A FUCKING LEAF AND AT THE SAME TIME SOME KID SCREAMED I THOUGHT IT WAS THE FUCKIN LEAF OMG

why do we always have to reblog my mistakes

vintagegal:

Beetlejuice (1988)

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

i-am-mr-clever:

TH-THEY JUST SHOWED UP OUT OF NOWHERE

zigwardscissorhands:

Movie idea: Jeff Goldblum and Christopher Walken sit down for breakfast and discuss literally anything for two hours.